Day Four - Writing with Energy

"...if a person gets hit...by a fist or a pipe, it leaves a physical mark--ie. the bruise, the blood clot...Even the doctors and the nurses can see the physical impact...But they don't see the spiritual side, the psychological or the energy impact...

There's energy behind every trauma."

---"Our Culture Is Medicine: Perspectives of Native Healers

on Posttrauma Recovery..."

I didn't start writing in earnest until I was forced to. First, when I got sober in 2009, then again when I was diagnosed with melanoma. Until those things happened, I would have thought you were crazy if you told me what I'm about to tell you now:

Humans are made of energy. We don't just feel our energy, we are our energy. The reason I had gotten so ill was because I had disregarded my energy. I had allowed my energy to remain stagnant inside, and it had actually turned against me. This energy consisted of buried childhood trauma, plus all the other trauma I had caused myself--and others--in my attempts to kill the pain.

In 2009, I heard in my spirit to write--not write in the way I had in the past, but write from my gut, my heart, without editing or censure. When I say heard, I don't mean physically. I mean I heard in my spirit, heard in my body. This voice was actually my body trying to save itself. You could also describe the voice as God, Higher Power, Highest Self, Creator, or Muse. I believe I am connected to all of those things.

Writing in this new way was a game-changer, as it was based in energy not intellect. I put aside my head and learned to follow my body. In doing so, I cooperated with my energy--and therefore my body--and therefore my fate.

There were a huge number of energy knots inside me. These felt like knots you might feel in your muscles, but they were made of energy. I couldn't work them out in a physical way, and I had certainly proven, through years of intellectual writing, that my head wasn't going to help.

The energy knots were located all over my body, but concentrated mostly in the joints. I felt them first on the left side of my body--mostly my hip and knee. Then, as I continued to write, I began to feel the knots on my right. I have since learned that the left side of the body is associated with the masculine/father, and the right side with the feminine/mother. (Knowing Ourselves, Joman Romero)

As far as the content of my writing, this masculine/feminine, left/right theory played out. All I had to do was look back at my writing to determine the subject. Sure enough, much of my early writing had to do with trauma experienced around my father. My later writing concerns trauma associated with my mother. Of course, this is not always the case, but the general trend is evident.

I had to allow the writing to move freely through me though, if I wanted it to heal my trauma. I had to let go of all control over the subject, timing or form of my writing. My one job was to show up every day and put my fingers on the keyboard. The rest would be up to the writing.

More next time...

SUGGESTION: If you are inspired to begin writing in the way I have described, click on the button below to get a Random Word List and Directions on How to Cluster. Print out the word list. Cut the words into individual pieces. Place the words in a jar. Grab a word every day. Cluster for 2 minutes. Then write.

Feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Random Word List/How To Cluster

I write from experience, curiosity, and care—not from clinical training. I am not a therapist or doctor, and nothing here is meant to diagnose, treat, or prescribe. Please listen to your own body as you read, and reach out for professional support if you need it.